Thursday, July 19, 2012

The lizard Queen and her noble companion

I am a woman who can deal with many things. I can even deal with things I am most terrified of. Heights? Sign me up for sky diving. Fish? Sign me up for snorkeling.
The one thing that I am terrified of that I cannot seem to deal with...lizards. My husband has become my hero over the years not only because he's freakin awesome but because he has battled many a lizard for me. Whether they are as big as my finger nail or as big as my forearm (no I am NOT exaggerating) he has always come forth with his trusty cup and newspaper and taken them away from his delicate lady.

There has only been one lizard incident in our new apartment and the culprit found it's way out through the screen door before facing the wrath of my knight and his plastic cup. The second incident happened just tonight. I was putting my tiny (and bravest dog) into his kennel for being naughty when I spotted right in front of my face  crawling up my wall a lizard about as big as
my pinky finger...I handled it quite well. I got a cup scooped him up and released him to his freedom outside and called it a night, proud of my courage and bravery.

If you really believe what I just told you then you don't know me very well. And considering that half of you DON'T know me very well...I will tell you what actually happened.

As i bent down to put spuds in his crate I spotted the lizard. Because of recent events (the murderer in the hall way for those of you who read my last blog) I have deemed my pug, the smallest dog, the bravest. So recalling how vicious he is, I thought he would like to have a go at the lizard resting on my wall. I show Spuds (my pug) the lizard...and set him down on the bed. He slowly paces
back and forth, back and forth...perhaps waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. Then it happened...

The lizard moved up the wall, to quick for me to notice but quick enough for Spuds to believe his life was in danger. Spuds reeled back and fell into my face...me being so focused on the lizard this entire time, I did not have time to process what had happened and therefore think a giant lizard is attacking my face. In response to these events I push my pug away from my face and off the
bed and sprint towards the living room and jump onto my couch Spuds right behind me. I look around to find my big ferocious Hades fast asleep in his bed. Spuds races back into the room the avenge the fact that he had been made a fool. I follow...to see spuds jump onto the bed and scare the lizard so much that the lizard falls onto my bed...I tried to follow it with my eyes but 'twas lost.
Spuds lost the lizard and due to him being too eager I will now suffer loss of sleep due to there quite possibly being a lizard under my pillow.
Night all.

1 comment: